He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
