I think I died a long time ago.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
