some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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