Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
