I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
