When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
