So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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