I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
