How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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