i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
