So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Randomize
