hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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