You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
