do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
