well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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