you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
