when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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