Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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