Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
