im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
