I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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