my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
