i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
