it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
