billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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