yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
