bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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