He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
