My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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