Even the bartender felt bad for me
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
