Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
