try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We are all done wearing pants today
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
