omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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