i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
