I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
