she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
