I'm gonna have a badass scar
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
