Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
