Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
