Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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