i don't like sucking hair
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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