No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
