he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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