when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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