No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
