She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
