Hey man sorry I got all grabby
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
there was a trapeze. enough said
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
