After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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