I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
