paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
