Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
