I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
